


New Steps to an old Choreography

by Schattengestalt



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Jack Harkness, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Torture, Post-Episode: s03e13 Last of the Time Lords, Post-The Year that Never Was (Doctor Who), Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27491527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schattengestalt/pseuds/Schattengestalt
Summary: After time has reset, Jack helps the Doctor repair the damage, the Master has inflicted on the TARDIS. But even while he works side by side with the Time Lord, Jack doubts his welcome."I thought you wanted me gone." The admission, delivered with so much hopelessness, tore painfully at the Doctor's heartstrings."What? Why would you think that I wanted you to sleep on the Valiant?""I'm wrong," Jack murmured, without looking at the Doctor. "The TARDIS," Jack's Adam's apple popped up and down, when he swallowed, "She ran away from me and you can't stand to be around me." A helpless shrug. "Wouldn't blame you to want me gone, now that the work is done. I'm sure, I could hitch a ride with Unit, back to Cardiff."
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	New Steps to an old Choreography

**Author's Note:**

> I simply had to write this story after rewatching series 3. I couldn't leave things between Jack and the Doctor, the way they were at the end of it. Enjoy!

### New Steps to an old Choreography 

"Now, just tightening this a bit and... Ouch!" The Doctor winced, when his hand was zapped, but then only sighed and reached for the spanner, once more. He couldn't begrudge the TARDIS, that she was more sensitive than usual. Not even he, as a Time Lord, could start to comprehend, what it had felt like, to his beloved ship, to have been turned into a paradox machine.

"I am sorry," the Doctor thought at his ship and a comforting, if tired hum, answered him. The TARDIS had forgiven him, for failing her, by letting the Master brutalize her, so badly. Not that the Doctor allowed himself any illusions, of being worthy of forgiveness, but he was thankful for it, all the same. Promising the TARDIS a whole set of shiny, new parts and a long soak, in rift energy, in Cardiff, he indulged himself by listening to her happy hum, for a few seconds, before he turned his focus back, to the issues at hand.

"Right, all traces of the paradox machine are gone. Still need to run some tests, to make sure, that there aren't any after effects and some wires need to be exchanged, but afterwards," the Doctor turned around, with a grin and rubbed his hands together, in anticipation, "She will be ready to travel, again." Expectantly the Doctor looked at Jack, who was crouched down in front of the console and pouted, when he didn't get a reaction from him. What good was it to have a companion with him, if they didn't share his joy?!

"Captain!" His voice came out sharper than he had intended and Jack jumped at it. Only the Doctor's quick reflexes prevented Jack, from landing face first, on the grating, when he struggled to get upright.

"Careful." The Doctor slung an arm around Jack's waist and gripped his shoulder with his other hand, to keep him upright. If it weren't for his superior Time Lord physiology, he was positive, they would have both taken a tumble to the ground, since he had to support most of Jack's weight.

"Sorry," Jack mumbled and shifted a little to stand up straighter, "Didn't mean to drift off." He stretched his lips upwards, to show off his perfectly white teeth and almost succeeded in making it look like a smile, instead of a grimace. "What's next?"

A lump of regret settled heavily between the Doctor's hearts, when he realized just how exhausted Jack was. He should have noticed it sooner. Not like it wouldn't be obvious, to anyone, who so much as glanced, at his friend. Jack's face was gaunt, flesh stretched thin over his cheekbones, that made his skin appear, in real danger, of simply tearing apart. The pale - almost grey – complexion, of his face, didn't help matters. If anything, the unhealthy colour, only high lightened the dark circles under his eyes, further. And if there were any doubts left, about the depths of Jack's exhaustion, the fact, that he had yet to make any kind of innuendo, while the Doctor was bodily holding him up, was proof enough.

"Checking and exchanging some wires and a few calibrations," the Doctor replied automatically, while he calculated, how long it had been, since Jack had slept. After burning the body of the Master, the Doctor had started to destroy the paradox machine, desperate for the TARDIS' presence, in his mind, after losing another of his kind. Jack had only joined him a few hours later. Theoretically, he could have slept then, but the Doctor was certain, that instead he had sorted out the mess with UNIT and made sure that the Jones family was taken care of. Particularly because, the Doctor recalled Martha telling him as much, at some point while he had been working on the TARDIS, before she had left, to look after her family. So, that meant, that Jack hadn't slept in at least 36 hours and depending on how you looked at it, he probably hadn't had any kind of meaningful rest, in the last year.

The Doctor swallowed the overwhelming feeling of regret, when he registered the faint tremors, that ran through Jack's body. This was his fault. Not only the whole mess with the Master, but also that he hadn't paid enough attention to the wellbeing of his friend. The health of his companions, while they were on the TARDIS with him, was his responsibility and yet, he had almost allowed Jack to work himself to death.

"Whatcha doin'?" The words were slightly slurred, from exhaustion and the Doctor tightened his hold around Jack's waist, when he wobbled on his feet.

"Getting you to bed." The Doctor stirred Jack away from the console. They managed half a dozen steps, until Jack abruptly dug his feet in. "Not tired," he mumbled and the Doctor steadied him, when Jack turned, until they were face to face. "Don't need sleep."

The Doctor snorted at the false statement, although he refrained from pointing out to Jack, just how wrong he was. No doubt that not even half of his words would have registered with the Captain, when it took all his strength, to keep his eyes open. The usual bright blue of his irises was dull, reminding the Doctor of a polluted sky and twisting the knife of regret sharply, inside him. "You're already half asleep and I won't have you poking around the TARDIS in this state. She’s been hurt enough as it is." The regret the Doctor felt only intensified, when Jack flinched at the words and his shoulders slumped in defeat. 

"Alright," Jack visibly shook himself to a state, that resembled wakefulness and straightened up. "I will find myself a bed."

The Doctor blamed it on the residual stress of the last year, that he only realised where Jack was going, when he had already stumbled a few steps, in the direction of the door. "And where do you think you are going?"

Jack stopped midstep and glanced back over his shoulder. "You told me to go to sleep."

"Yes," the Doctor agreed slowly and stepped up to his friend and in front of him, "And the bedrooms are in the other direction." The Doctor gestured behind himself, to the corridor, that led from the console room, deeper inside the TARDIS. 

Jack's eyes widened in disbelief. "I thought..."

The Doctor watched warily, how Jack's hands clenched at his side, while he kept his eyes fixed on a point, somewhere above his shoulder. The foreboding feeling, that something was wrong niggled at his mind. 

"You thought?" The Doctor prompted gently and squeezed Jack's shoulder.

"I thought you wanted me gone." The admission, delivered with so much hopelessness, tore painfully at the Doctor's heartstrings.

"What? Why would you think that I wanted you to sleep on the Valiant?" Admittedly, they were still technically on board of the plane - although safely landed by now – but, as long as they were inside the TARDIS, it was possible to forget about that little detail. But how Jack could think, that the Doctor would force him to sleep in a bed, on the ship, where he had been held prisoner, for over a year was beyond him. Certainly, Jack didn't t believe him that much of a monster.

"I'm wrong," Jack murmured, without looking at the Doctor. "The TARDIS," Jack's Adam's apple popped up and down, when he swallowed, "She ran away from me and you can't stand to be around me." A helpless shrug. "Wouldn't blame you, to want me gone, now that the work is done. I'm sure, I could hitch a ride with Unit, back to Cardiff."

The Doctor opened his mouth and closed it again, with a snap. His first instinct had been to tell Jack to stop being a drama queen and to go to bed, but thankfully his mind had kicked in, before he could put his foot into his mouth. Apparently, he had already done enough damage as it was, by talking without thinking first. His eyes swept over Jack and took in his rigid posture, along with the faint tremors, that shook his body. When he finally arrived at his face, the Doctor inhaled sharply, at how much pain, he saw written in the eyes of his old friend. He had no doubt, that if Jack had been a little less strong-willed - or stubborn - he would have already broken down, from the weight of it. As it was, only the tight lines, around his lips and the burning in his eyes, gave away just how close he was to his breaking point. And it was all the Doctor's fault.

"Oh Jack," the Doctor whispered quietly and crossed the remaining space between them, to draw Jack into a hug, "I am so, so sorry." Jack stiffened in his arms, but didn't try to pull away and the Doctor only held him tighter. "I'm not going to leave you here. That was never the plan." He didn't ask why Jack would think, that he would be abandoned on the Valiant. Not after how he had left Jack behind on the Game Station. 

"I shouldn't have called you wrong." A sharp gasp sounded from Jack, which the Doctor added to his ever growing pile of self-loathing. "You’re one of the most brilliant humans, I ever had the privilege of meeting and what happened to you isn't your fault. I shouldn't have punished you for it." Jack's breath hitched, in something that sounded suspiciously like a sob. The Doctor felt like something was breaking inside him.

"The TARDIS likes you," the Doctor whispered, while rubbing soothing circles on Jack's back and a confirmative hum enfolded them, in reply to his words. "Your sudden appearance merely scared her. My fault, really. If I had met you on the Plass, instead of attempting to run, you wouldn't have needed to jump on her and she wouldn't have been startled." Looking at it from this angle, put other things into perspective, too. If the Doctor hadn't run from Jack and the TARDIS hadn't jumped to the end of the universe, they wouldn't have met the Master and no one would have been put, through that whole ordeal. Or maybe, it would still have happened, just differently. The Doctor was able to recognize a time loop, when he encountered one and this whole incident had all the markings of one.

"So," Jack's arms came tentatively around the Doctor, "You don't... my presence doesn't torture you?"

By Rassilon, how often could one of his friends break his hearts, until he would regenerate from the pain of it?! "It never did. It's more like looking directly into the sun, on a bright day. You need to squint at it, but then you are free to enjoy the beauty of it."

Something, that sounded halfway between a chuckle and a sob, emerged from Jack and his fingers twisted in the suit jacket of the Doctor. "You saying I'm beautiful?"

The teasing wasn't up to Jack's usual standard, but when the Doctor leaned back a bit, to meet Jack's eyes, he was relieved to see some of the pain had melted away. "No offence, but Frankenstein's monster would win a beauty contest against you, right now." That got the Doctor the first - if tiny - smile from Jack, in what felt like ages. Reflexively, he smiled back and only then realized how close their faces were. If one of them were to lean forward, a mere couple of inches, the Doctor would be able to taste Jack. The idea gave him a jolt and before he could think better of it, he was leaning forward and... A huge yawn cracked Jack's mouth open and the moment was broken.

"Sorry," Jack murmured sheepishly, "I'm a little tired."

"Understatement of the millennium." The Doctor rolled his eyes at Jack and grabbed his hand, to lead him towards the corridor, on the other side of the console room. "Your room is the first to the right." He refrained from giving Jack a little shove, for fear that, it would send his friend crashing to the ground and instead gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Goodnight, Captain."

"Goodnight, Doctor."

He turned away, before Jack opened the door to his bedroom. He had already made enough of a mess today, without adding any more confusing feelings into the mix. Better if he concentrated on the TARDIS' repairs and stayed far away from Jack's bedroom... for both their sakes.

OOO

It really was his bedroom. Jack gripped the doorframe tightly and squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden, humiliating sensation of tears, that almost overwhelmed him. A few deliberate deep breaths later, he dared to open his eyes, again. A lump was still settled in his throat, but he didn't fear to break down crying anymore. At least not for the moment. God, but he was so tired.

Closing the door behind him, Jack took a few hesitant steps, into the room. It had been over a century for him, since he had last set foot into this room. And although less time might have passed on the TARDIS, it shouldn't feel like he had only stepped outside, a couple of hours ago. His original greatcoat, from his first time around in 1941, was thrown over the armchair, in the corner. A few mementos, from his trips with Rose and the Doctor, lay strewn on his nightstand, right next to a tube of lube, Jack had used for a solo performance, on the morning, that they had visited Kyoto and ended up on the Game Station, afterwards.

Wistfully, Jack took the tube in hand. He couldn't remember much about his last morning, as a mortal anymore, but he didn't have to, in order to know, what he had fantasized about, while jerking off. The Doctor, always the Doctor. Back then, still with his piercing blue eyes and his big ears, but just as much the Doctor, as the man, for whom Jack had died numerous times, during the last year.

A violent shiver almost made him drop the tube, when the mad laughter of the Master echoed through his mind. God, the bastard! Jack clenched his hand around the reminder of his past and concentrated on his anger, towards the now - thankfully - dead Time Lord, to push away the fear and helplessness, that he had been his fateful companions, during the last year. Anger was easier to handle. Jack had given his utmost best, to hold onto it during his... sessions with the Master. 

He had fuelled his hate, for the Time Lord, by recalling, what he had done to the Doctor and Martha's family and every other human being, on Earth. As long as Jack had held onto these thoughts, he had managed not to think of anything else. His anger and hate had kept all the other feelings at bay, that would have overwhelmed him, otherwise. Fear, not only for everyone else, on board of the Valiant, or on Earth, but also for himself. And wasn't it rather ironic, that a man, who couldn't die, should be afraid for himself? At first, he had forbidden himself, to feel that way, but after months of being the Master's favourite toy and punching bag, Jack had been afraid, that it would never end. He had started to doubt the Doctor and whatever plan he had more, every time he came back to life, with a painful gasp for air. If a tiny part of him hadn't held on, to his belief in the Doctor, the Master would have succeeded, in his endeavour, to break Jack completely, when an endless future of torture and death had stretched out, before his eyes.

Not that the Master would ever know, how close he had come to breaking him. No, Jack gave a hollow laugh and dropped the lube, in the drawer of his nightstand, he had put on a rather good show for the Time Lord. Taunting him and laughing at him, until he was spitting blood, only to keep that satisfaction from him.

Jack swallowed and almost gagged, at the remembered taste of iron in his mouth. A glass of water was on the nightstand, by the time he had fought down a small panic attack. Apparently, the TARDIS really wanted to have him here.

Jack gulped the water down, in a few swallows and then sat down on his bed, to undress. The TARDIS hummed apologetically around him and Jack tenderly stroked the wall. "It's okay, girl. Not your fault."

Her hum grew more soothing and Jack found his eyes falling close, as soon as he had slipped underneath the covers. For the first time in over a century, he fell asleep to the song of the TARDIS.

OOO

"Disgusting!" The blade cut into his skin. Pain exploded all across his upper body and Jack couldn't hold back a gasp. It earned him a delighted laugh from the Master and another cut across his chest. "Finally feeling it, Freak?!"

Jack grinded his teeth together, to keep from either screaming in pain or laughing madly, at the question. The Master had already spent hours - or what had felt like hours - using Jack's back as a cut board, before he had moved on to the front. There was only so much pain, even Jack, with his Time Agency training, could endure. At least, a limit to how much he could endure quietly. He hadn't reached his breaking point, yet.

"How long do you think, until your back is ready for another round?!" Jack didn't reply, but secretly delighted, in how the Master had to stand on his tiptoes, to peer directly into his eyes. Maybe he would ask him, if he needed a stool, if he wanted to provoke a fast death. Not that it would do him any good right now. The Time Lord was in one of his especially mad moods, which meant, that he wouldn't leave Jack alone, after having killed him once, if he wasn't satisfied with the pain, he had inflicted, up to that point. And Jack preferred waking up alone, even all chained up, instead of seeing the Master's smirking face, first thing after coming back to life.

"Pay attention!" Cold fingers were brutally pressed against one of the cuts and Jack's vision blurred. He wished, he had passed out a second later, when the Master's fingers - slick with his own blood - rubbed over his nipples. A shudder of disgust ran through Jack's body.

"Oh you like that, don't? The human body, so disgustingly primitive and you are the worst of them all. You could probably get off on this, couldn't you?" The edge of the knife cut into the skin right next to his nipple.

Jack kept his lips tightly pressed together, although he barely got enough oxygen through his nose this way. Still better than to give the bastard the satisfaction of...

"Son of a bitch!" Jack screamed and barely registered the slap to his face, while all his senses were focused on the blinding pain, that radiated from his chest. He didn't need to look down, to know, that the Master had cut his nipple off. 

"Language! What would the Doctor say?!" Mad laughter echoed through the room. "I could get him. Wouldn't you like that?! Naked and tied up, in a room with the Doctor, I bet this would be one of your disgusting fantasies come true."

"Seeing as you are the one who tied me up, it sounds like it's one of your fantasies." The slap was expected this time.

"How dare you, filthy freak compare the way a Time Lord thinks to what passes for thinking, for you primitive apes." The Master's voice was a mere snarl and Jack hoped, that he had finally reached the point, where he killed Jack and left. The sudden, maniac glint in the dark eyes promised something else, though. "You human males are only ever thinking with your cocks. So found of that appendage." Jack shuddered in disgust, when a cold hand cradled his balls, even as a terrible foreboding filled him.

"Maybe you would be less primitive without it." The maniac grin turned the Master's face into a grotesque mask. "Shall we find out?!"

The cruel laughter was all the warning Jack got, before pain exploded between his legs. Pain. White, burning pain. Nothing else, but pain. Pain and laughter. And cold hands on his skin. Touching him. Hurting him. Again and again and again....

OOO

"And... Done!" The Doctor pirouetted on the spot, with a triumphant grin on his face, only to face the emptiness of the console room. Right, he had sent Jack to bed, a couple of hours ago and Martha was still with her family. Disappointed, the Doctor leaned back against the console. The TARDIS was back in working order and he only needed to take her for a few jumps through time and space, to calibrate the time rotor. He had looked forward to a little adventure with his friends, but now it appeared, that he had to wait, until they were fit for travelling again. If they even wanted to travel with him.

The thought, of both Martha and Jack leaving him, sent a jolt through the Doctor's body, worse than some of the zaps, the TARDIS had ever given him. Certainly they wouldn't chose to return to the linear - the slow – path, when he offered them all of time and space, right?! Then again, after everything they had endured, during their travels with him, he couldn't fault them, if they had experienced enough adventures, to last them a lifetime. Nevermind that Jack had more than one lifetime to spend so...

The Doctor shook his head and yawned into the silence of the console room. Usually, he didn't need much sleep, but after working on the TARDIS, for almost two days in a row, after burning the body of the last of his kind, the Doctor found himself yearning for sleep. Since Jack would be out for at least twelve hours - even immortal humans needed so much sleep - the Doctor had time for some rest.

He sent a mental inquiry at the TARIDS, as to where his bedroom was, but was only met with the equivalent of a telepathic shrug. His ship was pre-occupied with something else. The Doctor frowned, when he noticed, that her whole attention was focused on her only other occupant.

"I know that you like him, my girl." He stroked a hand along her walls, lovingly. "I like him, as well, but it comes across a bit creepy, if you are so focused on him. Not that Jack would mind but..."

A bloodcurdling scream echoed through the TARDIS, followed by another one. This one even louder than the first one. The Doctor didn't need the worried pushing of the TARDIS, to get him moving. He was down the corridor and inside the room, before he had even started to wonder, what had Jack in such a state. So far the Doctor had never heard him scream like this. Like he was... tortured.

The Doctor swallowed down the bitter bile, when he made the connection between the trashing figure, that was tangled in the covers and the reason for Jack's nightmares. Torture. Of course, the Master had tortured Jack. The Doctor had felt every time, his friend had come back to life. Even without the Master's taunts, about how he had made some deaths especially painful for Jack, the Doctor would have known, that the other Time Lord hadn't simply shot him in the head. Somehow though, the Doctor had failed to realise, that a year of torture would haunt Jack. Or maybe, he had simply ignored it, because it was easier this way. Easier for him, but not for his poor friend.

His hearts twisted painfully, as he looked at Jack. The TARDIS had turned the lights up, to bath the room in a mild twilight and it was bright enough for the Doctor, to make out every single detail. The contorted grimace on Jack’s face, the tear streaks on his cheeks and the blood on his lips, where his teeth had bitten down. But worst of all were the inhuman sounds, Jack was making. What had been screams before, had turned into whimpers and pleas and the Doctor's stomach twisted in knots. If he had eaten anything, in the last twenty-four hours, it would have made a reappearance. Squaring his shoulders and pushing his own guilt and pain aside, the Doctor crossed the remaining space, to the bed. 

"Jack!" No reaction, but the Doctor hadn't expected one. Nightmares were a tricky business and waking up from them could be hard. If it hadn't been for the support of the TARDIS, he would have ended up caught in an endless nightmare, after Gallifrey had burned.

"Jack!" This time the Doctor grabbed Jack's naked shoulders to wake him. He was prepared for him to jerk upward, with a scream on his lips or to take a swing at him. The Doctor could survive a sore jaw, if it meant freeing Jack, from the grasp of the nightmare. What he couldn't live with was the reaction he got, instead. Jack's whole body tensed at the Doctor's touch, before he froze completely. All the fight went right out of him and he held himself completely still. 

"Please, no more." A tear trickled down Jack's cheek. The Doctor followed it's way, with his eyes and caught it with his thumb to wipe it away. 

Jack flinched violently away, from the contact and the Doctor's hearts cracked, when he realised the reason behind it. He was a Time Lord and Jack... he had been tortured by the last other member of his kind, for a year. His subconsciousness recognized his presence as a threat. Add to that a horrible nightmare and you got a dangerous mixture. 

Swallowing down the guilt, that threatened to overwhelm him, the Doctor cupped Jack's cheek in one hand and stroked gently underneath his eye. "Time to wake up, Captain."

Jack whimpered, in the back of his throat. His eyeballs moved frantically, underneath his eyelids, while he was still caught in the nightmare.

"You are safe." The Doctor perched on the mattress and moved his hand upwards, to stroke away the strands of hair, that were sticking to Jack's forehead. "You are on the TARDIS." A gentle hum filled the room and the Doctor knew, that his ship was trying to reach Jack, as well. She wouldn't be able to do more than nudge his mind, but maybe that would already be enough, to wake Jack up. "The Master... he is dead." The Doctor shoved away the grief and sorrow, this statement evoked. Jack didn't need to see him crying, over the death of a man, who had hurt him so badly... again. 

"I burned his body. He is gone. He can't hurt you anymore." He rubbed slow circles on Jack's chest and sighed in relief, when Jack's breathing became less shallow. "I'm the Doctor. You're safe. Just open your eyes." The Doctor couldn't say, how often he repeated the same words over and over again, until Jack's heartbeat slowed, to an acceptable pace and his eyes fluttered open.

"Doc?" His voice was hoarse from screaming, but the hope. that resonated with this one word, was unmistakable.

"Yes." With an exhausted sigh, the Doctor leaned back a little, but kept one steadying hand on Jack's shoulder. He had no idea, which of them needed the steadying contact more. "Welcome back to reality."

Jack opened his mouth to reply, but whatever he had wanted to say, turned into a panicked gasp. The Doctor didn't need to be a genius, to understand, that Jack had just remembered his nightmare. 

"I need to..." Jack tore frantically at the covers, until he had freed himself from their tangled mess. He jerked up, into a sitting position and his hand flew between his legs. The Doctor's eyes followed the movement, to see Jack clutching his penis ,in his hand and cradling his balls, only to look back up, when Jack sank back into the pillows, with a relieved sigh.

"Still there," Jack whispered, more to himself than to him.

A cold shiver ran down the Doctor's back. Certainly the Master hadn't...

"He wanted to see, if it would grow back." Jack's voice was bare of any emotions. He could have been talking about the weather, if it hadn't been for the terror, reflected in his eyes. A bitter laugh shook Jack's frame and without thinking, the Doctor reached out to clasp Jack's free hand in his. A heavy weight lifted from his chest, when Jack didn't flinch away from the contact, but grasped at his hand like it was a lifeline. "If he had just asked, I could have told him, that it would grow back. Alice and Emily checked very throughout, what my body is capable of. I’m sure, they even made a detailed list, on how long it takes me to revive, after various methods of dying. He only needed to have a look into the archives."

"Archives?" Dread settled in the pit of the Doctor's stomach, because he believed to know the answer to the question, already. He was right. "The archives of Torchwood."

"They," the Doctor licked his dry lips, "They tortured you." Anger threatened to overwhelm him, before it was dwarfed by cold fear and worry. "They are not still..." Rassilon, but the Doctor wouldn't put it past people, like Hartmann, to torture someone, if she hoped to gain something from it. 

Thankfully, Jack shook his head at the question and even managed a wry smile, when he turned his head, to look directly at the Doctor. "They got me in 1899 and wanted to find out why I couldn't die. They never got close to the answer, but they certainly had fun thinking of new ways to kill me. Really, I am glad the Master never met them or they might have exchanged notes." Jack's breath hitched at the last word and revealed that his nonchalant tone hadn't been anything, but mask to hide behind.

The Doctor didn't think when faced with the pain of his friend and reached for Jack. He drew him upright, to sling his arms around his back and hold him against his chest. It wasn't the most comfortable position, since the Doctor had to twist sideway on the bed, to embrace Jack, but the way his body relaxed at the contact, was worth the twinge in the Doctor's back.

"So that's what it takes to get you into bed with me." Jack's voice sounded muffled, where his face was pressed against his shirt, but the Doctor could detect a least a small hint of amusement in Jack's voice. Amusement, that was soon drowned out by pain, the Doctor noted, when wetness started to spread on his shirt and the salty tang of tears filled the air.

"I am so very sorry." It didn't make up for even a thousandth, of what Jack had endured, but holding his friend close and stroking his hair, was the only comfort, the Doctor could give, while Jack cried silent tears.

"So sorry," the Doctor repeated, every time Jack's breath hitched, with a suppressed sob and pressed his lips to the shock of dark hair. If he said it often enough, maybe he would be forgiven his failures, in a millennium or two.

Seconds turned into minutes and almost into an hour, before the last tear dried on Jack's face. Emotionally exhausted and physically drained, the Doctor noted, as he kept on holding Jack. If necessary, he would stay like this for hours, if it gave Jack a chance to relax. The Doctor peered down at Jack's, tear stained, face. With his eyes closed and pressed against him like this, he looked so young. Much too young, to have endured so many losses and pain. And even while the Doctor knew, that Jack was old, from a human's point of view, he would still be considered an adolescent, amongst Time Lords. 

The Doctor allowed his mind to drift back a few centuries, back to when he had still lived on Gallifrey and dreamed of exploring the universe, one day. He sidestepped all the bad memories and recalled the beauty of his planet and the fun, he had had with his friends. He was so lost, in the recollection of his past, that he tensed momentarily, when Jack stirred against him, before he found his way back to the present.

"Sorry." Jack sat up and wiped at his eyes. "Don't know what came over me."

The Doctor didn't remark on the embarrassed flush in Jack's cheeks nor on his puffy eyes. This breakdown had been a long way in coming and he was only glad that, he had been there for it. That he had been allowed to comfort Jack, when his friend had been in need of it. "Think you will be able to sleep some more now?"

A complicate look crossed over Jack's features. "I... maybe but..." Jack averted his eyes and worried his lower lip between his teeth. "I don't want to... Stay? Please?"

To say the Doctor was gobsmacked at the question, would be an understatement. Not that Jack hadn't often offered him to share his bed, but even the Doctor knew, that this time was different. This wasn't Jack asking for sex, but for... comfort. And he was at a loss of how to react to that.

He had been quiet for too long the Doctor realised when Jack's expression shattered. "Of course, silly of me. Forget I asked." A practiced smile slid on Jack's face. One, that never reached his eyes. Eyes, that looked much too old on such a young face. Eyes, that had seen so much and still only showed a fragment, of what their owner had gone through.

"Goodnight, Doc." Jack detangled the covers, before he slipped underneath and rolled onto his side, with his back turned to him. The tense line of his bare back was just visible to the Doctor, from where he sat perched, on the bed. He knew, that if he left now, Jack would never trust him again, with his pain. They would both be back to pretending, that they were alright and that comfort wasn't needed. Which had never been less true.

Giving himself a mental shove, the Doctor got up from the bed and stripped down to his pants. For a second, he hesitated, but when his eyes fell on Jack's hunched figure under the covers – tense, as he waited for him to leave - the last step was easy to take.

"What?" Tormented blue eyes looked over Jack's shoulder at the Doctor, when he slipped into bed, behind Jack.

"You aren't the only one who needs to sleep," the Doctor replied easily and reached for Jack, to draw him back against him.

The Doctor let out a relieved sigh, when Jack went willingly, until his back was pressed to the Doctor's front. His skin was scolding hot, against the Doctor's cooler one, but it wasn't so much unpleasant, as it was reassuring. Jack was here. Healthy, human and strong. So much stronger than the Doctor could ever hope to be.

His hand pressed against Jack's chest, to feel the reassuring beat of a single, beautiful heart. "Sleep," the Doctor whispered and pressed a kiss to Jack's temple, when Jack interlaced their fingers on his chest. And if the Doctor gave Jack's mind a gentle nudge, to send him off to a dreamless rest, then this was the least he could do.

OOO

He wasn't alone! Jack's subconsciousness registered the other's presence, while he was still sluggishly stumbling his way back to wakefulness. Adrenaline surged through his body and his muscles tensed, either in preparation for a fight or to endure whatever pain laid in wait for him, in the imminent future.

"Jack." The well-known voice, accompanied by the soothing hum of the TARDIS, put him back at ease, before he could so much as jerk upwards. Right, he remembered now. He had had a nightmare and the Doctor had come to his room and comforted him, before joining him in bed.

A self-deprecating smile tugged at Jack's lips. So this was what it took, to get a Time Lord in bed with him. Just waiting around for over a century, getting tortured by a madman and then breaking down in his arms, like a scared child. No big deal, really. Jack fought down the heat, in his face, at the memory of how he had clung to the Doctor, last night. God, he had even cried on him.

Jack inhaled slowly, through his mouth, to get himself back under control and only then realised the position, he was in. He must have moved around in his sleep, because he couldn't remember falling asleep, sprawled half over the Doctor's chest. Which wouldn't have been a problem in itself, if it wasn't for the way his lower body was pressed against the Doctor's leg... and how a certain part of his anatomy had reacted to the stimulation. Jack had never been embarrassed about waking up with an erection and none of his partners had ever complained about it but... this was the Doctor. And they weren't lovers, but... Jack didn't know, what they were to each other anymore. Friends, a hopeful part of his mind whispered and Jack clung to it ,like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood. Still, as far as Jack was aware, the Doctor wasn't interested in sexual relations with friends and he had made it especially clear, in the past, that he wasn't interested in him.

"Jack." Gentle fingers carded through his hair and Jack leaned into the contact, "I know you are awake." The Doctor's voice sounded amused, not reprimanding, but Jack still smiled sheepishly up at him, after he had opened his eyes. "Sorry, I always liked to lounge around in bed, for a bit after waking up." Especially since his chances of indulging, in such small pleasures, had been few and far between, throughout his life. Neither the Time Agency nor Torchwood allowed for long lie-ins.

Jack slowly shifted his hips away from the Doctor, without being too obvious about it. He didn’t have any illusions, that his erection had gone unnoticed, but he still had some dignity left. It threatened to crumble to pieces, when the Doctor's hand, on his hip, prevented him from moving away.

"Doctor?" Jack glanced up at his friend, in confusion.

"Nothing to be ashamed of, Captain. But I don't have to tell you that. Perfectly normal reaction for a bloke to have, while in close proximity to another person."

"Right." Jack raised a challenging eyebrow at the Doctor and snuck one hand underneath the covers. He wasn't surprised, when it didn't encounter a bulge, in the Doctor's pants. Disappointed maybe, but not surprised.

"I guess I should go and take a shower." Jack didn't move though and neither did the Doctor. Minutes ticked by and Jack was starting to wonder, if he might fall back asleep, despite his hard-on, when the Doctor finally spoke. "When you touched me," the hesitance in the Doctor's voice, left no doubt, to which touch he was referring, "Did you hope I was... hard?"

Was that a blush in the Doctor's face? Yep, there was definitely a hint of colour, in these pale cheeks. Jack marvelled for a bit, at making the Time Lord blush, before he focused on the question. It was easy enough to answer, honestly. The Doctor would probably sent him to the med-bay, to do a brain scan, if he denied it.

"Yep," Jack propped himself up on a hand and found, that the grin on his face, started to feel real, once more, "Hope springs eternal and all that."

The Doctor nodded slowly and a thoughtful frown appeared on his forehead. "Why?"

Jack raised an eyebrow, at the question. Surely, the Doctor couldn't be that innocent. His last regeneration - while not interested - certainly hadn't been a stranger to sex.

"No," the Doctor pressed a finger to Jack's lips, when he was just about to open his mouth, "I'm quite aware, that you enjoy sex and that you have propositioned me before, but... is there another reason?"

"Does there have to be?" Jack was aware of how defensive he sounded, but he couldn't help it. It was an old reflex, after spending over a hundred years, stranded in a time, when sex had been considered dirty and wrong, if the intent of it wasn't to reproduce.

"Of course not!" The Doctor shook his head vehemently. "I was just wondering... after everything you have been through and after last night, I thought you might confuse sex with comfort."

Jack ignored the heat, that rose to his cheeks, at the reminder of last night and forced himself to hold the Doctor's gaze, without flinching. "Sex can be comfort, amongst other things. It's always been for me." Especially in the 20th century, during sex had been the only times, when he had been allowed to touch and get touched, to his heart's content. He hated, how it was frowned upon to cuddle his lovers and friends, in public. Without sex, Jack would have been severely touch starved. "Nothing more comforting than having sex with someone you love."

The Doctor's eyes widened almost comically and Jack feared, that he had said too much. He had never made a secret of his feelings for the Doctor, but he still expected him to jump from the bed and hid somewhere in the TARDIS. What he didn't expect was the brilliant smile, that brightened the Doctor's whole face. Nor did Jack expect the Doctor to lean upwards and press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"What?" Jack touched a finger to his lips, before he caught himself. "Not that I’m complaining, but you are sending extremely mixed signals."

"Oh, because I am not hard?" The Doctor cocked his head to the side and his forehead furrowed in concentration. "That better?"

Jack could only gape at the Doctor, when a cool hand moved his own, back to the Doctor's pants to feel sizeable bulge, there. "You..."

"Yep, I can control it. Not an easy task, while having you pressed up against me."

"I always knew, you had the hots for me." Jack winked at the Doctor, but hesitated to make any other move. To say, that the direction, this conversation had gone, had taken him by surprise, would be an understatement. Over a century ago, Jack knew he would have jumped, at the chance, to bed the Doctor, but after losing so many people and the year of hell, he had just survived, he had become more cautious. Oh, Jack would still take the Doctor up on his offer - if it was one - but he needed to know beforehand, if this would be a onetime shag. Just so, that he could prepare for the heartbreak, that was sure to follow, in the wake, of this morning.

"Why the sudden change of heart, Doc? You have rejected me numerous times, but suddenly you are interested? Not that I am complaining, but if this is some kind of pity shag, I have to know."

"Pity shag?" The Doctor's voice rose a whole octave, in indignation. "I’m not handing out pity shags." The Doctor huffed out an annoyed breath, but his eyes softened, when he looked at Jack. "I'm rarely interested in sex, but when I’m, it's got little to do with how attractive someone is, but more with..." The Doctor gestured vaguely, with his hand and Jack couldn't hold back a snigger. "Intrinsic values?"

"Laugh as much as you want, Captain, but that doesn't lessen your capacity for love. Don't deny it." The Doctor pressed his hand to Jack's chest, right over his heart and raised a challenging eyebrow at him. "So yes, intrinsic values, although I can't deny, that you are very easy on the eyes."

"You are very nice to look at as well, Doc. Especially your arse."

"Yikes!" Jack chuckled, at the Doctor's squeal, when he pinched one firm cheek and took advantage of the Doctor's slightly parted lips, to sweep in, with a deep kiss. He didn't need an elaborate answer, to what was going to happen, afterwards. The Doctor's words were confirmation enough, that this wasn't some weird attempt at atonement from him and if these same words had also awakened hope, that this wouldn't be a one-off, then Jack could live with that.

The Doctor went willingly, when Jack drew him on top of him and then proceeded to lose himself, in the sensation of having the man, he loved, in his arms.

OOO

Kissing Jack was like looking at a supernova, while riding a rollercoaster. The discrepancy between the natural flow of time, all around Jack and the stillness, that was his friend, made the Doctor's head spin, with dizziness. A year ago, the sensation would have been enough, to send him running and proclaim the experiment a failure. Now though, he forced himself to endure the slight vertigo, until it passed. Luckily, it only took seconds, in linear time, for the unpleasant sensation, to fade to a light niggling, at the back of his mind. One year of experiencing every death and resurrection of Jack, had desensitized him to it... and watching over his friend, while he slept, hadn't done any harm either.

The Doctor tangled his hand in Jack's hair, to angle his head to the side, in order to deepen their kiss. A happy moan vibrated against the Doctor's lips and he wasn't the least bit surprised, when Jack's arms came around his back, to press them ever closer together. A hand squeezed his arse and the Doctor rocked his hips forward, to rub their groins together and cursed himself, for not taking his pants off, when the fabric reduced the friction. For him at least, Jack's low groan showed, that he was more than happy, about the current situation. Nevertheless, the Doctor was sure, that he could make his friend even happier.

Their mouths separated, with a wet noise, when the Doctor pushed himself upwards. He didn't make it far, since Jack tightened his hold on him and he was left leaning over his lover, in a slightly uncomfortable position.

"Jack." Blue eyes blinked up at him and the Doctor found himself speechless, in the face of the maelstrom of emotions, that swirled on their surface. There was so much pain, in Jack's eyes, that it hurt almost physically, to look into them. Still, taking a look, was more than worth the small amount of discomfort, to find the hidden love and hope, that were pushing to the surface. If the Doctor had had any doubt left, about his decision to take their relationship to another level, it would have vanished, in that moment. Hours, of watching over Jack sleep, had finally put his feelings for him into perspective and the Doctor had decided, that he was done running; done punishing them both, for wanting happiness, when it was in easy reach. 

Speaking of easy reach, the Doctor cradled Jack's face between his hands and kissed him soundly, but moved away, before his lover could return the kiss. Instead, he used his lips to explore the rest of Jack's face. Kisses were dropped on cheeks, ears and closed eyelids, until the Doctor ended his exploration, by sucking gently on the tip of Jack's nose.

"If you are so found of sucking, I have a suggestion to make." Jack leered up at the Doctor and his eyes were sparkling with amusement and mischief. 

"Patience, Captain." The Doctor winked at Jack and gave the tip of his nose one last lick, before he moved down, his lover’s body. And while Jack's hands kept resting on his back, he wasn't trying to hold the Doctor, into place anymore. The Doctor only hoped, that this meant, that Jack trusted him not to run away.

He took a second, to pull off his pants, before focusing on the expanse of unmarred skin, that was laid out before him. "Beautiful," the Doctor circled Jack's right nipple, with his tongue and sucked the hardening bud, between his lips. His lover bucked his hips upwards, at the sensation, but the Doctor ignored the insistent hardness, that was pressed against his belly - at least for now. He took his time exploring Jack's body, to his heart's content and catalogued the difference in taste and texture, in various places on him. The Doctor found, that he was especially fond of Jack's navel. Not only did the smooth skin feel extremely nice, against the Doctor's tongue, when he dipped it into his navel, but Jack's reaction was also enjoyable.

"Doc!" Jack's protests ended in a giggle and turned into full blown laughter, when the Doctor rolled his tongue, to push its tip as deeply as possible, into Jack's navel. The reaction was instant and the Doctor was almost pushed off Jack, when he bucked upwards and his whole body shook, with helpless laughter. The sound was music to the Doctor's ears. He could have spent hours listening to it. Later, the Doctor decided and gave Jack's belly one last lick, before moving down, between his lover's legs.

"Doc, please!" Only to be contrary, the Doctor ignored Jack's impressive erection, in favour of giving the inside of his thighs, a throughout inspection. The farther he moved towards Jack's groin, the muskier the scent became and the Doctor's own cock twitched, in response to the stimulation. He could have spent hours inching closer and around Jack's cock, but when a desperate whimper sounded from above, the Doctor decided to take mercy on his lover.

"Oh fuck!" The Doctor would have reprimanded Jack, for such language ,but seeing as he had one of Jack's balls in his mouth, he let him get away with, it this time. 

"Lovely," the Doctor nuzzled Jack's balls gently and stroked his cock, simultaneously. Jack groaned and his back arched upwards, in an attempt to get closer to the Doctor.

"You're perfect." He nipped gently at the sensitive flesh, before sucking a ball into his mouth and pressing his tongue behind it. The cock in his hand twitched and beads of pre-come ran down its head. The heavy scent sent sparks of arousal through the Doctor's body and he pressed down against the bedclothes, in his search for friction, to take the edge off his need.

"I wonder how you taste." The Doctor ran his tongue upwards from Jack's scrotum, along the full length of his cock, only to circle its head with his tongue and lick over the slit there. He caught a drop of pre-come, with his tongue and held it in his mouth, for a few seconds, before swallowing. "Delicious."

And it was. The mixture of salty and musky notes created an interesting flavour. Add to that Jack's 51th century pheromones and it was possible to get addicted to the taste. The Doctor hummed happily, while he licked and suckled on the head of Jack's cock, but took mercy on his lover, when faint tremors started to run through the body, beneath him. Without warning, the Doctor swallowed Jack's cock down, until the tip hit his throat and then sucked. A choked scream and the bucking of hips was the reaction he earned.

The Doctor glanced up the length of Jack's body, to check if the scream had been one of pleasure or pain and almost came right then and there. By Rassilon, but Jack looked absolutely brilliant, like this. His chest was flushed with passion, his nipples hard and glistening and his eyes... His eyes would be the Doctor's undoing, one day. The dark of his pupils had swallowed the blue of his irises, almost completely, which made them look like tiny dark holes. Dark holes, that led directly to Jack's soul and which were filled with want and passion. A man could easily drown in them.

Thankfully, the Doctor wasn't just any man, but a Time Lord and therefore he managed to tear his gaze away from Jack, without embarrassing himself, by coming completely untouched. Instead he doubled his efforts, to bring his lover off. Relaxing his throat and switching to his respiratory bypass, the Doctor swallowed Jack's cock down, to its root. Popping his head up and down, a few times and pressing his tongue right there, made Jack swear and groan. Rolling his balls between his hands, at the same time and Jack was pushing up into his mouth. And when the Doctor rubbed his finger over the ring of muscles, that surrounded Jack's opening, only to press inside, just the tiniest bit, Jack lost it.

The Doctor leaned back a little, when Jack's cock pulsed, to catch his release at the perfect angle to swallow. At least, that had been the plan, but the Doctor found himself coughing and sputtering, a second later, when he inhaled, at exactly the wrong time. He still managed to swallow most of Jack's come, although he couldn't enjoy the taste, as much as he would have liked. Next time, then.

The Doctor licked Jack's cock, one last time, before moving back up the bed, to draw his lover into his arms. Jack looked absolutely destroyed, the Doctor noted smugly, as he took in his lover's flushed face, with hair sticking to his forehead and his lips slightly parted, to gasp for air. The Doctor couldn't withstand the temptation, to kiss said lips and judging from Jack's eager response, he didn't mind the least. Heat surged through the Doctor's body and pooled between his legs, to make his cock throb impatiently, where it was trapped between their bodies.

"Let me," Jack whispered against his lips, when the Doctor reached for himself. Suddenly, a hot hand was closed around his shaft and the Doctor finally understood, why Jack was so confident, in his ability to please his lovers. Not only were his grip and pace exactly how the Doctor liked it best, but the little twist of his hand, every other stroke and how his fingers... The Doctor lost track of all rational thought, as Jack worked his magic on his cock. He was reduced to gasping, into Jack's mouth and clutching at his lover, until he tumbled over the edge, with a loud scream and came between their bodies.

His cock was still twitching, when the Doctor slumped back, into the pillow and gasped for breath. A low chuckle sounded next to him and the Doctor peeled his eyelids open, to meet Jack's extremely satisfied gaze. "I must say Doctor, if you come like this from a handjob, I almost fear, what will happen when I blow you." 

He almost missed the hidden question, in Jack's teasing statement, but thankfully a part of his brain was still aware enough, to notice it. "You can find out the next time." And just to make sure, that Jack understood, that the Doctor was offering more, than just another round of sex, he poured all the feelings, he couldn't voice, into a long and deep kiss.

"Wow," Jack blinked, stunned for a second and then smirked, "We could find out, right now."

The idea was alluring, but the Doctor still shook his head and rolled away from Jack, before his lover's skilled fingers could convince him otherwise. "Nope, can't do. Still need to calibrate the time rotor. A quick jump to the moon and back should do the trick." The Doctor struggled back into his pants and trousers and glanced over at Jack, when he was about to button his shirt. "Want to do the honours of steering her?"

"Really?" 

"Yep, you need to practice, if you are going to help me fly her, in the future." Jack's eyes widened at the statement and the Doctor realised - too late - that he had just made an assumption, without checking with Jack first. "That is, if you want to travel with me again." The Doctor fumbled with the cuffs of his shirt. "It doesn't have to be now, but whenever you want to, just know..."

"Yes!"

The Doctor's head jerked up, just in time to catch the brilliant smile, that brightened Jack’s whole face. His lips tugged upwards, to mirror the joyful expression. 

"Get dressed then." The Doctor chuckled, when his words turned Jack's smile into a pout. "You know the rules, Captain. Clothes are mandatory, in all the public places, on the TARDIS."

Sighing, Jack reached for his jeans, but looked up thoughtfully at the Doctor, while pulling them up. "At all times or can there be exceptions? I always thought, that the grass in the Garden Room made for a nice, comfortable surface."

"You're unbelievable," the Doctor muttered and prayed, that he wasn't blushing furiously, if only he could imagine other places on the TARDIS, where they could enjoy some quality time together.

"And you wouldn't have me any other way, Doc." There was no point to argue with a statement, that held so much truth, therefore the Doctor didn't. Instead, he linked his hand with Jack's and together they made their way to the console room. Taking their first steps on the path, into their future and when the Doctor looked sideway and saw the joy reflected in Jack's eyes, he knew, without a doubt, that it would be a brilliant one.


End file.
